Our lives are so busy that it can be hard to give attention to the most important person: our partner. If this sounds like you, the following tips about mindfulness may be useful. It can help to bring you and your partner closer together as Valentine's Day approaches.
Be in the Moment
One of the basic points of mindfulness is being present in the moment. When we are present we have greater focus. It becomes easier to stay in the here-and-now rather than be distracted.
Does This Mean We Should Meditate Together?
Why not? Meditation has two advantages.
- It gives you something to focus on, specifically your breathing.
- When you do experience a thought or feeling, acknowledge the thought and redirect yourself back to your breathing.
Both you and your partner can do this together. For example, find a quiet and comfortable place in your home free of distractions. Then, practice meditating for 5-10 minutes. Afterwards, discuss your experiences. Were they similar or different? Did either of you experience pleasant or troubling thoughts? These become opportunities, not just for conversation, but support and encouragement as well.
Be Intentional Together
Another point about mindfulness involves its focus on intentionality. This means you are doing something purposeful and conscious. The intentionality of mindfulness helps you and your partner create an awareness of each other, your relationship, and thought patterns that affect you.
Ways to Create Understanding
One way to create understanding is to have specific moments where you are focusing on each other and the relationship. The meditation is one example. Other ideas include:
- Creating a space in your home where technology is limited, such as the bedroom.
- Having times set aside each day or week to be with each other. This could be a meal or a date-night.
- Doing an activity together that requires focus and being present. Examples include hiking, ,playing music, or simply doing a household chore together.
These moments allow you and your partner to not only communicate but also share common experiences. It helps build trust and respect between the two of you. This will serve you both well when there are difficult challenges that need to be faced.
Learning How to Breathe
It should be noted that the breathing exercises don’t have to be restricted to a meditation session. You can use intentional breathing throughout the day. This can be as simple as focusing when you breathe in, hold the breath, and breathe out. Why is this so helpful? When there are times of conflict between you and your partner, knowing how to breathe is a great asset. Breathing helps you to stay in control and focused on the present.
How Can I Practice Mindfulness?
It’s actually easier than you may realize. Start with the ideas mentioned above. To expand your horizons, a simple web search will bring up many resources. However, if you want to learn more or are struggling with mindfulness, consider talking to an experienced therapist.
Mindfulness is a great tool you and your partner can use to come closer together. It is also a useful resource for maintaining the health of your relationship. This includes helping the two of you communicate but also stay in control when things get stressful. As Valentine's Day approaches, it can help you and your partner to solidify your bond as a couple.
Denise Kautzer is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and a Certified Public Accountant whose practice is located in St. Paul, MN. You can view her website at www.denisekautzer.com or contact her at email@example.com.