Know the Signs of Compulsive Spending

In a world that prizes “keeping up with the Jones” materialism and instant gratification, spending your worries, insecurities, and problems away probably feels good.

For a while.

After all, with the help of the Internet, you can ease any form of emotional discomfort with a click and a credit card. You don’t have to think. Or feel. No ride in the car to reconsider your shopping solution. No cart piled high to draw your attention to your spending. Not that those things ever stop you anyway.

If you’re honest, you’re starting to feel out of control.

Your retail-related headrush — and regret — is likely a sign of compulsive spending.

Something happens inside you, something emotional and unresolved, that seems to be soothed with purchasing power. But in the end, whatever it is remains untouched, and possibly exacerbated by unchecked spending.

It’s time to get a handle on your compulsive spending and deal with your underlying issues. With the right tools and solid support, you can turn this around.

Take a good look at your spending habits. Ask yourself some pointed questions. If the way you’re spending your money or time is overwhelmed by an impulsive or uncontrollable need to procure the things you want, consider the following signs of compulsive spending:

  • Spending is your preferred mood moderator. Is retail relief your stress relief? Do you notice that shopping somehow lifts depressive or anxious thinking? Do you find it difficult to relax, or feel good about yourself or life situation, without frequent shopping trips or web purchases?
  • Spending feels like a friend. How often do you buy big ticket items or spend time shopping at familiar stores in an effort to feel affirmed, accepted, or approved? Are you spending to cover the fact that you’re lonely or feel emotionally isolated? Does shopping give you an emotional boost, not provided by much else in your life?
  • Spending is a “high.” With a card in your hand, or fresh from the ATM, do you feel compelled to spend as much as possible? Do you bend over backward financially to figure out how to buy big ticket or designer items? Is spending a challenge or thrill you struggle to resist?
  • Spending is a reason to hide. Do your loved ones have any idea how much money you’re spending or how often you shop? Have you become economically elusive in order to cover your spending? Do you fear your partner will be angry, saddened, or disgusted by your spending deception?
  • Spending ends in guilt and remorse. Are you exhausted from the shame of feeling out of control? Have you constantly regretted not having money left for more important purchases or family needs? Do you worry that your current spending is ruining your future financial security?
  • Spending is not related to necessary purchases. Do you actually use your purchases? Do many still have tags or remain in the bags? Have you forgotten most of what you purchased, or even bought the same item repeatedly, because you’ve lost touch of your purchases?
  • Spending is ruining your health. Do you feel “sick” over your destructive habit? Perhaps you feel mentally defeated and depressed? Maybe you have digestive trouble, headaches, or other stress-related maladies? Has your savings or retirement fund steadily declined?

Save yourself any more compulsive spending-related shame, relationship drama or financial debt. Reach out to a professional who can help.

One of the best ways to recover your peace of mind is to face the feelings that have you draining your accounts in the first place. Acknowledge and accept the situation so that you can look deeper, change your habits, and resolve your compulsion.

Denise Kautzer is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and a Certified Public Accountant whose practice is located in St. Paul, MN. You can view her website at www.denisekautzer.com or contact her at denise@denisekautzer.com.

 

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