Letting Go Of The Past

Letting go of the past. Everybody says it like it’s easy.

Just shrug off yesterday, and get on with it. Move on. Put the past behind you.

You’ve tried. You really have. But it’s harder than it seems.

Too many thoughts and emotions continue to sneak up on you, drag you backward, and keep you from the life you deserve.

You want to feel better and do more, but how?

The past can be a powerful force.  Letting go of the past with these tips can help you get going to wherever the future leads:

Decide to move on.

Do you really want to put the past behind you? Are you ready to do what it takes to be done with the hurts, relationships, mistakes, and missteps?

Say it. Write it. Shred it. Letting go of the past is a decision.

Put your feelings in their place.

Feelings are important. Face them; feel them completely. Then resolve them. This may require counseling, hard conversations, letters you write but never send, or long journal entries. Whatever it takes to release your emotions, and breakthrough to peace, is worth it.

No more blame.

Maybe you were an innocent bystander, caught up in someone else’s foolish decisions. Maybe you’re at fault. Harping on another person’s actions, trying to get them to admit, apologize, or accept their part is too much energy expended. And running yourself into the ground isn’t the same as taking responsibility.

Blaming and shaming helps no one. You have a future to attend to; blame just gets in the way.

Be present.

Maybe you’ve been haunted by the past for so long that you simply have no idea how to live each day in the present. To become aware of how past events shaped you, but not be controlled by them, you’ll have to practice living in the moment.

Train your brain to focus on the present. Observe and allow yourself to be in the moment. Teach yourself to breathe and listen. There is insight and possibility in those moments.

Forgive.

When you decide to move on, stop blaming, and look inward, you’ll likely find a more compassionate part of yourself. Not just a victim or a villain.

Letting go of the past allows you to rediscover your humanity and connection to others. Those discoveries may allow you to finally exercise one of your greatest powers: Forgiveness.

People make mistakes. Situations get out of hand. Allow peace and joy to reenter your life. Extend empathy and open your heart again.

Adjust your goals.

Letting go of the past requires courage. You have to reexamine those comfortable goals and former ambitions to consider their usefulness now. Do they still work for you? Are they built on old parameters and constraints? See where your newfound presence and open heart take you.

Be grateful.

Your entire journey means something. Your past is not time wasted, but lessons learned. You still have the opportunity to forge ahead, wiser for all of it.

Be thankful. You’re still here, still growing, and still free to live a whole, happy life.

Denise Kautzer is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and a Certified Public Accountant whose practice is located in St. Paul, MN. You can view her website at www.denisekautzer.com or contact her at denise@denisekautzer.com.

 

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