Take a moment to eavesdrop, the next time you’re in a crowd. You’re likely to hear a few conversations. And, a whole lot of complaints.
“The commute is killing me.”
“I can’t stand my haircut.”
“I can’t wait until this day is over.”
“The coffee in this restaurant’s terrible.’”
“Can you believe Mom said that to me?
What about you? Could you join those conversations easily? Do you spend a good deal of time fussing about the inconsequential, or grumbling yourself into a dark mood?
How much time do you actually spend developing a sense of thankfulness and appreciation? When you do, is there usually turkey and dressing involved?
Through a daily practice of gratefulness, you can reverse the joy-dampening power of all those complaints and negativity. Here’s how to get started:
Be Mindful. Stop. Breathe. Notice your breath and appreciate it. Open your mind to the present moment through meditation or prayer. Don’t rush through your thoughts; treat them as gifts to be examined and considered as they are. Ask yourself:
- What does this moment offer me that I am grateful for?
- What current gifts and opportunities am I grateful for?
Reframe your routine. How you approach the “givens” in your life has a large impact on whether you can make an attitude of gratitude habitual. Much of our time is spent in the day-to-day rituals of life. Gratitude for the ‘little things” (hot showers, your morning jog, a good meal, a phone call from a friend) make life full of gifts to enjoy and appreciate.
You may even want to add a gratitude ritual to your daily routine, to help you maintain your new perspective. Try lighting a candle each evening, in appreciation for an experience, or a person who touched your life.
Write. Intentionally, chronicle good things and bad. The idea is not to write a Pollyanna version of things. Journaling to cultivate gratitude means learning to acknowledge life as it is, and examining it for things that inspire gratefulness. The commute was long, and you forgot your coffee in the rush to get out the door? That could be a journal entry describing the bad start of a worse day. Or you could choose to record that you’re grateful that you arrived at work on time, found a great parking space, and there was just enough time to grab a cup of coffee from the break room before settling in at your desk. Choose a grateful perspective, experience, or a person who touched your life.
Dedicate your journal to grateful reflection. Soon it will become a volume of encouraging and edifying moments and memories.
Honor and acknowledge others. The more grateful you become, the more willing you’ll become to express gratitude for the kindness, generosity, and thoughtfulness of others. Let those expressions flow freely. Thank cooperative co-workers, salute the sacrifice and service of your community member, applaud authenticity and honesty among your friends. Don’t be shy. Express yourself however you like. Just make a habit of it, and watch how gratefulness shapes your attitude, and lifts the spirits of those around you.
The commute is killing you? Thank goodness you have a job waiting when you get there.
Can’t wait until this day is done? Enjoy the fact there is a partner to spend the evening with.
Offended by what someone said? Be grateful he cared enough to share.
Research shows that grateful people are less inclined to be antisocial, materialistic, or depressed. A grateful person recognizes the abundance and interconnectedness of life, and appreciates it freely and fully.
Gratitude ensures you get the most out of each day, relationship, and experience.
Enjoy.
Denise Kautzer is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and a Certified Public Accountant whose practice is located in St. Paul, MN. You can view her website at www.denisekautzer.com or contact her at denise@denisekautzer.com