Every couple has to work at keeping their relationship fresh after a while. Here are 10 ways to do just that:
Rethink your smart phone: Use it or lose it. Too much screen time interferes with “we” time. Use it: Love tweets and sexy texts are a lot of fun. Lose it: “Facetime” should only refer to actual time spent together, engaging each other in person.
Find ways to be kind: Little things aren’t little at all. Take time to saturate your union with lots of thank yous, approving looks, and appreciative embraces. Make ordinary interactions expressions of gratitude and support.
Bring back the fun: Set regular play dates. All work, kids and chores — and no play — makes for a dull relationship. Make time to have fun together. Try new adventures. Plan trips or take classes. Revisit some of the fun dates you enjoyed early in your relationship.
Lighten up: Encourage humor and laughter. Fun couples know funny well and keep humor close by. Laughing, joking, and playfully poking at each other can take the edge off hard days or tense situations. Just be sure to solidify your bond with inside jokes and silly memories, not mockery or sarcasm.
Spend more time in bed: Converse, cuddle, and get creative. When was the last time you went to bed together? Set a bedtime and retire at the same time. Look forward to going to bed and winding down. Pillow talk is prime time to catch up and snuggle, after a hectic day of work and responsibilities. Often the cuddle time will develop into more time for creative, satisfying intimacy.
Touch, tickle, tease: Connect physically all day. Bring back the PDA. Public displays of affection refresh that sense that you belong to each other. Reinforce your connection all day long. Affection also signals to others that you’re together and sets clear, protective boundaries around your union. Touch each other, as you pass in a room. Hold hands, when you walk side by side anywhere. Kiss a beat longer, when you greet each other, or say good bye. Really enjoy being close physically and emotionally.
Spice things up: Throw a wrinkle in the sexual routine. Set aside time to have honest discussions about how to reignite the fire between you. Talk about your fantasies and desires. Write them down, whisper them in each other’s ears. Whatever works, to enjoyably get you on the same page, and experiencing the most out of your connection.
Ask more questions: Check in on each other’s hopes and dreams. Assume less about your partner. Yes, you know him or her well. But you don’t know everything. There is still so much to discover about each other. Be more curious about what matters to your partner. Take an interest. You might be surprised at what’s new.
Praise your partner: Plan parties and give pats on the back. Take as many opportunities as you can to verbally acknowledge, support, and celebrate your partner, especially in public. Cheer on and encourage openly. Positive reinforcement is irresistible. Speak up, and speak often, to see your partner’s attitude toward you and your relationship bloom. Everyone loves positive reinforcement and genuine admiration.
Love, honor, and cherish: Prioritize couple time. Healthy relationships don’t go on hiatus. If you haven’t made enough time for each other in the past, commit to change. Circle date nights and getaways in permanent ink. Let the other people in your life know that your relationship won’t be placed on the back burner. Your partner comes first. Keep your calendar open enough to indulge spontaneity and surprise each other.
Make the most of every moment.
Denise Kautzer is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor and a Certified Public Accountant whose practice is located in St. Paul, MN. You can view her website at www.denisekautzer.com or contact her at denise@denisekautzer.com.